B~ is back...

I had been gone for quite some while now, totally neglected my blog but now i am back, i am back for real... Alot of things had happened during this period of time and my life had been a hell of a rollercoster... Well lets begin with my semester break, it was so boring... it was either out wit my buddies or rot at home alone... My mom is usually out with her friends, so that gives me the freedom to eat and sleep like a pig... Was supposed to visit the japanese restaurant, Tenji, at mount kiara but couldnt book a seat even though it was like 2 weeks before? i was craving for the haagen dazs ice cream and the oysters... was so sure that i would go for Rihanna's concert but on the day i was i supposed to go purchase the ticket, my friend say he coulnt make it... i was like WTF!!? but anyway thank god i didnt purchase the ticket cause at the end the concert was cancelled and that would have been a bigger disspointment... then it was near chinese new year, got craze of shopping, terrorizing 3 shopping malls in just one day and i found pretty decent clothes for myself but my legs hurts like hell the night when i went to bed... just when it was so close to cny, just the week before, my results was out... Zzzz.... and judging from the expression, i guess you would figure how my result was and hell ya i failed and it just have to be the week before cny? its like the americans bombing japan... it was the worst cny i ever had, the feeling was horrible... just when everyone is enjoying their new year, i have to fake that i am happy but deep down i was so f*cking worry, sad and depressed... it was the first i failed in my life and that feeling sucks! the week after cny, U reopens... Just when everyone comes back from their holidays, hanging out together and catching up on stories but there i was, there i was freaking out about my coming supplementary exam... the stress pushes me to the limit as if my mind gonna blow off, my heart felt so heavy, i couldnt concentrate on anything other than my notes, i couldnt be bother by anything even my cell phone, i just couldnt care less... i dont know if any other people understands what i am going through but i was really terrified at that moment, i didnt what to do... i know it was rude to just ignore everyone, avoid them and lock myself in the room just to study?, it just didnt come to my senses at that moment. i did what i have to do and i have no regrets even though things changes. if some things are just so easy to forget then i guess we are never meant for it then... i survived through that week, i never told my family nor my friends... ya, perhaps i was embarass but i thought i could get over  it... hmmmmm... perhaps not, the following week, the result was released... i screamed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes i failed... having the thought of retaking the subject and extending my studies just kills my heart... at that moment i felt so low, so down... i feel really sad and depressed... but thanks alot to few of my close friends, i managed to survive through it... this what the others have not seen me going through, they probably do not care but this aint an excuse but this does matters in my life... anyway i survived through it, my emotions are recovering, i am getting back to my usual self, the fun and bubly me... perhaps i should thank god for giving me such an expensive lesson... that experience was like a wake up call for me that i had played too much and its time to know whats important in my life and get serious... i aint saying there all work no fun but there must have a balance to it... so right now i am still trying to sort my life, a balance for both studies and entertainment... but so far so good it seems... hehehe.... that's all from me now... hehehe... thx for going through all my babling... Love, BoNNiE....